To upset any fanatic of The Beatles, list a song by The Monkeys as your 'favourite ever Beatles song'- How I deal with elitist wankers

What I am about to say is probably going to make me unpopular with 99.9% of the music loving population but when it comes to The Beatles, when it comes to their music, I can take them or leave them.

WHAT THE HELL DID SHE JUST SAY?

KILL HER

KILL HER WITH FIRE

 

Let me finish Motherfucker!

I don't hate The Beatles and I am not disrespecting what they have done for music or the fact that most of the bands that I love were probably in some way either directly or indirectly influenced by the music of The Beatles

so just chill out and put down your weapons.

I don't dislike The Beatles. If their music was playing, I would happily listen to it, I wouldn't leave the room or send complaint emails to the venue playing them like I would if it was Nickelback

True story, I unsubscribed to Ticketek emails when they sent me a newsletter about NickelBack and my life goal is to punch Chad Kroger in the throat for creating the music that he has.

That is how much I hate Nickelback

but I do not hate The Beatles.

To me, The Beatles are like the Grandpa of a Boyfriend

I can see his value

I thank him for having sex with his wife and procreating so that his son could then go on to have a son that I could bang (His grandson in this scenario is a mixtape of music that I love... so I guess his grandmother was some strumpet of a woman who could scat and his Mum was probably Missie Elliot....don't over-think it, this metaphor is going to be really poorly constructed)

I will talk to him at family gatherings and listen to him saying a bunch of stuff but I kind of float in and out between staring at my boyfriends dad and thinking that he is surprisingly hot for a fifty-something year old...

Stay with me, my boyfriends dad is Nirvana...as in the band not the 'state of being'... I'll get back to this creepy story in a second

What brought me to writing this article was when Nirvana was playing at work today and I chose to share with my workmates that I “Didn't get the hype”

I don't know why I said it.
...I just talk sometimes.


If I had taken even half a second to think about it, I would have remembered the response that this kind of comment had evoked in people when I have previously shared my opinion on that band ..like the time when I honestly had the audacity to say that I like the Foo-Fighters more. What? Blasphemy!

I do kind of love this photo though

It's cool guys, hold yourself together. Try to stay calm.

The thing is , when it comes to The Beatles, I DO get the hype, I will listen to them at a party and even enjoy it but like Grandpa, I will not actively seek them out.

I will never make lunch plans with Grandpa in my free time

I will never text him to say “How's it going? Want to share some tapas and see the new Paul Rudd film?”

But before you attack me with your keyboards and tell me that maybe I just haven't heard enough of Grandpa, maybe I am too young to get Grandpa, maybe I am an asshole who doesn't deserve ears so you are going to cut off my ears because ears were invented to listen to Grandpa/The Beatles.

Before you do that

shut up please.

I like- nay LOVE Frank Sinatra and last time I checked he was old as fuck when I was born and dead by the time I was 10...so this isn't an age thing

... considering that most people like The Beatles, people younger than me and older than me

... then age does not really seem to be a valid argument, I will not wake up in 5 years and suddenly love them because I am 30

I have heard The Beatles... how could I not?

I have never actively sought them out but they end up on various devices that I own just because somebody put them there and I don't delete them but I have never had a moment where I am like THE BEATLES ARE WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW because they are not EVER but that doesn't mean I don't feel something when I hear 'I wanna hold your hand' or that I dismiss them BUT if the choice is between listening to them or listening to The Violent Femmes, the Femmes win.
That probably leaves me vulnerable to to some condescending Wonka meme
 

SHUT UP WONKA

...and I know I am going to be word-raped by people for that choice for the rest of my life because people that love something often believe that it is their God-given right to yell at people who don't agree with them.

So to combat this, I have invented a fun game to torment the kind of elitist Beatles Fans that that like to stand over the smaller percentage of population who do not consider themselves to be fanatics

I like to call this game;

“How to make a Beatles fan angry”
The rules of “How to make a Beatles fan angry” are simple, it merely entails picking a Beatles song at random and telling the said 'Elitist Beatles Fan' that it is your “absolute favourite song by The Monkeys”

or you can flip it and pick one of The Monkeys song titles, perhaps the famous theme-song and say “Have you heard that really fun song by the Beatles? I really like it it goes 'Hey hey we're The Monkeys....'...”

Either way will piss them off fine.

"I'm fucking with you"

If you think that The Beatles songs are the greatest songs ever made, that is cool with me and probably a popular opinion but my belief is just that it is simply not true.

Great Music is made every day and in my mind, there has been and will continue to be better.

I feel that I am justified to say this because I feel the best is yet to come

I acknowledge The Beatles for what they are which was revolutionary for the time and their music continues to live on in a time where other bands have been phased out or forgotten.

It doesn't really matter what I think anyway....so sucked in to you for reading this far!

 John Lennon is not rolling in his grave because some chick from Australia who can't even play piano properly said she was 'meh' on his music...he doesn't give a fuck.

It is only my opinion and in my opinion, on closer inspection, Nirvana/my boyfriends' dad would look ridiculous naked and I like my boyfriends creepy uncle, Foo Fighters much more and I am so far off track that I can not get back

 

"Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner"

worst/most sluttish analogy EVER

 AND WHO THE FUCK INVITED CHAD KROGER?

 

 

Also today while exchanging weird hate-stories, I found out that somebody who eats almost everything, including food off the ground, doesn't like bacon and and another pal doesn't like Seinfeld....WHAAAAT?