Addiction is easy to talk about because I have an extremely addictive personality. In fact my biggest issue is going to be trying to fit all my addictions (and thoughts on addiction) into less than 2 pages….because I’m addicted to talking.
Milkyways-my gateway drug
Ever since I was little I have been obsessed with milky way chocolates. When I first moved out of home I seriously went days where that’s all I would eat…and then spend half of those days on the toilet screaming “Milky ways, you will milky pay for what you are doing to my ass” (…ha! I did it!… barely even a paragraph in and I’m talking about my bowel movements…)
I tried rationing and trying to use them as a reward like “you finish this essay and you can have 1”…but then I would just get ahead of myself and eat them all. Now I don’t keep them in the house and definitely do not buy packets because I just can’t be trusted…
This little anecdote kind of sums up how I see addiction; If I find something I like and stick with it until it makes me sick enough to stop….and that’s kind of how I think it is for most people, you keep doing it until you lose something you care about…for me I lost control of my bowels…and I care about that.
IMDB
Another thing about addiction is that whole idea of replacing the ritual that they teach alcoholics…you know when you spend your time NOT doing something you end up needing to fill that time with something else. Eg: I am not eating milky ways and subsequently spending 127 minutes on the toilet so now I have time to watch a movie.
I have the most unhealthy addiction to film and tv so its fitting that after Facebook and google that my most visited website would be imdb.
If I am watching a movie and decide that I’ve seen the actor somewhere else, I then feel the need to 100% confirm it, I will track that mother fucker down by all means necessary… (by which I mean I will go on imdb)
I am possibly the most annoying person to watch a movie with for the fact that I am wrong about 70% of the time so even if we get to go back to the movie I will probably sit there shaking my head for the rest of it saying “I was so sure it was them”…so maybe I also have an addiction to never being wrong.
Here are some of the faces I have confused:
https://
I often wish life had an instant imdb search so that the next time a marginally attractive person calls me by my name I could hit the search button and learn their name and work out where I know them from… then I would stop calling people weird made up names or saying “hey….yooooou”
Other addictions of mine:
Painting my nails
My fingernails are generally painted up like little tuxedos or watermelons. I spend way more time on them than most people could generally be bothered with
Shoes
I’ve lost count but I must be up to over 100 pairs by now yet still lay around saying “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR”
Zach Braff
You know it
Music:
Yes I know, everyone likes music but I get really hooked on ONE song and play it on repeat for weeks. When I first heard Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard in Highschool, I played it for a really really long time and everybody in my house hated me and now when I find I new song that I love I refer to it as “My new Ocean Avenue” and my sister knows to keep her door shut for a month or so in order to avoid hearing “I‘m Not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance with yooooou do do do do do do do do do do”
Addictions that annoy me (it wouldn‘t be me of I didn‘t complain):
Smoking
Smoking stresses me for a lot of reasons. Chiefly because I highly doubt anyone has their first cigarette and just loves it…its not like other drugs that give a quick release…it takes some getting used to before you start to enjoy or crave it.
I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong but when I finally tried a cigarette for the first time a few years back I just coughed and spat and felt gross…which is why I don’t understand how a person takes it up as a habit to begin with, knowing that it is going to make you feel awful and cost a lot of money…but I guess you look oh so cool doing it so ok…personally I just dress like The Fonz and say “Beey” a lot when I want to be cool…I changed it to “Beeey” rather that ‘Eeey’ because I call myself the Blond Fonzie or ‘Blonzie’ and I wanted to have my own blonde catchphrase…oh and if you’re reading this and thinking “NOWAY! She‘s lying, she couldn‘t possibly be THAT cool”… my sister will tell you all about it…but my sister has a disorder where she says things are ‘annoying’ when she actually means that they are ‘cool’ so disregard when she says “Yes she does it and its very annoying”…she DEFINITELY means cool.
I digress. Basically, I feel like people have the right to smoke if they want to but so many believe they have the right to do it anywhere they want. No, I believe you have the right to pollute your own body but non smokers have the right to breathe clean air.
The area out the front of the café I work at is Non-Smoking, there are signs everywhere. Its non-smoking because people dining there don’t want a side of fucking cancer with their decaf soy latte…. But guaranteed daily, somebody smokes there or questions why they can’t smoke there.
If you smoke around me, I’ll usually stand back but I‘m not among the category of people who feel the need to stand there telling you to give it up because its bad for you….I do loads of things that are bad for me but If you smoke in my face, I will get the shits. If you smoke near a child, I will think you are a moron.
Phones
People who can’t put their phones down when they are in the company of other people seriously annoy me. If I’m waiting for a call I will apologise and tell the person I’m with but it stresses me out when somebody asks to hang out and then spends the entire time texting somebody else.
At work, people always come in on their phones, make their order and then if you need to confirm anything they look at you like you’re interrupting them. Um asshole that’s rude!
I want to give these texting freaks and people who talk on their phones a taste of their own medicine…yeah punk! How about when you’re talking to me I will just turn and talk to somebody else, because that’s how it feels when you do that.
People addictions
Ok this may sound a little contradictory because I listed Zb as one of my addictions but people that get overly fixated on other people stress me out. I am talking real world not fantasy maybe-if-we-ever-meet-we-might-get-married world…because I am not ruling that out (Zach Braff call me!)
Anyway…you know when your friend gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend or perhaps just makes a new pal and suddenly life revolves around that one person.
For the sake of explanation, I’m going to call this one person ‘Eglantine’ because its not a very common name to hopefully it won’t offend…oh and if your name is Eglantine its cool because this isn’t about you…so lets just clarify, if your name isn’t Eglantine, this isn’t about you and if your name IS Eglantine, this still isn’t about you…Ok? Good lets start…
Eglantine comes along and now even if you and Bob (Bobs your pal ok…or Bobita if it’s a girl…Sorry if your name is Bob/Bobita….fuck I don’t have time for this)…so now you and Bob/Bobita cant hang out as much which is ok but then when you do actually see Bob/Bobita all he/she does is talk about Eglantine(Eglatinis if it’s a boy) so if he/she is not talking about Eglantine/Elatinis (lets just say ‘Egg’ for short)…if THEY are not talking about Egg its because Egg is there…so Egg is always there, whether in body or spirit because everything is about Egg…then they break up with Egg or stop hanging out with egg and you think “phew its over” but now they just keep talking about Egg even more. Yeah I feel like I’ve lost you
Basically I am pretty independent for the most part, I hate being reliant on one specific person. Even when I’m madly in love I need a break from people in general to keep my sanity… so people that can not get through a sentence without making reference to their ‘other half’… or basically anyone who refers to their boyfriend/girlfriend as their ‘other half’ stress me out. You are a complete person. Be in love for sure, that’s awesome but if you rely on another person to fill all your time and make you happy then I probably find you a bit annoying…
….What’s that? I’m running out of room because I’ve spent too much of it trying to make up pseudo names and talking about Milky ways and shitting? Are you serious? Whatever I was totally in the mood for some scrambled EGGS anyway
