'Nice guys' may finish last but good dudes don't.

 

Chances are if you are the kind of guy that refers to yourself as 'A nice guy', you are probably also a bit of a douche-bag.

A shitty person is capable of being 'nice' but if that sweetness is only a pleasantry to get a girl into bed then it really isn't that 'nice' at all.

"These nice flowers are for you...on the condition that we get to bang later"

I have a lot of guy friends who I love as friends but who I've spoken to about girls and seen in relationships and they are the fucking worst at it.

These guys will do all the sweet things it takes to get somebody to like them but then as soon as they have them, they treat them terribly. As soon as they have them they stop doing all the nice things it took to get them.

They revert back to being single guys, despite the fact that they no longer are.

These dudes are the same ones that will say something like “I'm sick of being the nice guy it gets me no where”....

right after saying something else like “That chick didn't say hi to me. What a slut”

… yeah man, you sound like a really kind-hearted person,I can't believe she didn't want to hang out with you, what gal doesn't want to be with a guy that refers to women as 'sluts'?

What a mental bitch

you really are a catch.

Honestly if you see a hot girl and just want to bang her because she is hot and are straight up honest about it,you are probably a nicer dude than the guy that courts her for weeks,buying her flowers then inevitably screws her over later when he finds out that she is boring as shit.

I will gladly comfort my pals that get ditched by guys or girls that they did everything right by and tell them cliché but truthful words ' You just weren't right for each other, you'll meet somebody new'.

I have stayed up many late nights over the years listening to my heartbroken friends and felt for them because they are 'The good guys'

... but I have also listened to many of stories by people who I love just as much where I've been like:

“Yeah you were a bit shit at being that persons boyfriend/girlfriend”.

If you are a person that is into grand gestures and are happy to be doing them for the rest of your life, then by all means start a relationship that way but if you are just doing something to get the girl to like you and not to make her happy, don't expect somebody to fall in love with you that way and certainly do not refer to yourself as “A good guy”

...think about this grand gesture when you are about to pay heaps of money to have somebody write Lucy's name in the sky and think:
'would I still be doing this if there was absolutely no possible way that this girl will ever touch my dick?'

if the answer is yes then go for it, if it is all about making that person happy, do it

….and even if it is just about wanting her to touch your dick, do it but don't ever complain about being 'the good guy' again, because you are not.

Come' on courtesy! Learn how to treat to people nicely [Ya wanker!]

Common courtesy seems to be not-so-common. Did you like my little play on words with the title?

It's rude not to even give me a pity laugh.

This topic is likely to overlap with other blog entries that I've written because I truly believe that manners matter.

I am a drinker, farter, and a common user of the 'f' word

... but like any [semi-]balanced human, I can get a rough gage on what kind of behaviour may offend others and know when to let my freak flag fly

...and when to pack it up, behave and present myself as a well behaved adult.

I drink and swear and have gross conversations with my like-minded pals but I wouldn't just rock up drunk and swearing at a strangers dinner party...as funny as I would find that on a sitcom, it is something that I register in my head as not being 'O.K' in the adult-world.

 

Inappropriate!
(also how much does that one girl look like Regina George?Inappropriate moves by the Mean Girls rejects )

Working in hospitality and keeping a constant smile on your face can be draining when many of the people that you serve each day are total spoilt wankers but for the most part I do it and the worst I have ever said to a customer is :

“Don't speak to me like that” …

This was after he lost his shit at me and told me to 'Wake up to myself' because I'd brought him out a drink that wasn't in the cup he ordered
...even though I had just started shift, didn't take his order at the register or make the drink
...I just brought it out to him and was greeted with that.

The old guy is now a regular ...my co-workers and I call him by his first words to me “Wake up to yourself” and he has never spoken to me like that again.

"May I offer you a side of''don't be an asshole' nuggests?"

A pal of mine says something that I think are good words to live by “I try to treat people the way that I hope people will treat my daughter”

...I don't have a daughter but I think when you love someone so much and picture them being yelled at, it would make you mad.

Yelling dickheads

You know those people who when they are mad, they don't just need you to know about it, they need EVERYONE to know.

These are the kind of saddos that get off on shouting at some teenage checkout chick at Woollies because she made a mistake with their order and accidentally forgot to give them a 0.00005% discount on their cat food

...then after that, they tell everybody on Facebook how they made the 14 year old behind the counter cry because it wasn't enough that everybody in the supermarket heard

...then they just go home to their cat (who hates them because felines can sense a unjustifiably self-righteous wanker)

I have never been a yeller. I don't see the point of damaging my voice box over somebody that I'm pissed off at... I will speak my mind but for the most part I try to be constructive and resolve a problem if it's fixable
...and if its not fixable?
...well maybe then I will sulk or eat chocolate

...but still not yell.

Screamers are the worst.
What does all that loud noise achieve?
Speak at an appropriate volume and explain what you're annoyed about.

Don't carry on like a a 3 year old, slamming and screaming. It makes everybody think you're a dick.

Even if you get your way, it's only because people are terrified of you
... or they are doing what you want so that you will leave and they can bitch about you when you go.

Wow what an accomplishment for you. You are now the screaming wanker that everybody hates. Cool life man.

loud noises

Unreliable dickheads

Predictability is boring but reliability is comforting.

I am madly in love with spontaneity and people who can constantly surprise you but I don't think that the ability to shock is a trait that is exclusive only to those who never turn up on time.

In fact I firmly believe that some of the most reliable people can also be the most surprising
...just because a guy say he'll pick you up at noon and ACTUALLY shows up right on lunchtime doesn't mean that he won't take you somewhere that will surprise you...
...and the great thing about reliable people is that they don't just remember to show up on time
they also remember stuff that's important to you so surprises are usually things that are relevant or significant to you

and not just like:

“Hey I got you flowers because girls like flowers...”

but more like:

“Hey I have super glue and a 50cent coin and we are going to glue it to the pathway at the park and watch people try to pick it up...because YOU like that...I distinctly remember you telling me that you like doing that”
Who doesn't like doing that?

"Oh darling, I've never been happier. Just look at those idiots trying to pick up that coin"

Unappreciative Dickheads
We all know those people who never get off their phone.
They are always texting or online, regardless of real-life company
but magically when you need them, you won't hear back from them for days or until they require something from you.

When you do hear back you will get a very insincere “Oh sorry I forgot”...Some don't even bother to try to string together an excuse and others will give you one that it so pathetic that you can actually feel your intelligence being insulted
...so much so that it physically hurts you and you want to physically hurt them back with a kick to the ear.
Yes people totally do read texts or miss calls and genuinely forget to respond.
I do it all the time but if you care about somebody then you apologise profusely and be a pal....or you at least come up with a good lie...I'm only half joking.

I mean honestly, answer my fucking stupid hypothetical questions or come up with a damn good reason why you didn't answer:


'Would you rather be blind for the rest of your life or have to have sex with Tony Abbott twice a day, for 20 years?'

.. .It's so hard to sleep when I don't know these things!
This:

Vs making pasty white love to that guy for 20 years?

.....(These are situations that may be very real one day and you need to be prepared)

 

In all honesty I think that feeling valued is important and it isn't even that hard to make a person feel like they are appreciated.
Sometimes it's as much as putting your phone away when you're with company that can say to a person:
 'Yes I am here in this room with you right now and I'm listening to what you're saying rather than looking for a better offer'.

... I don't think gratitude should just be reserved for big gestures by good friends but also in the random acts of kindness from near strangers.

Just saying “Thankyou” when somebody does something nice that they didn't have to do for you ...or even when they are just doing there job. If a bus driver takes you home, it's not hard to take your headphones out long enough say “Thanks, have a good day”.

If they stop to wait for you when they see you running behind the bus HELL even chuck in a
“That was so nice of you, you've just saved me waiting an hour for the next one”
... so often I see people being so stingy with their words... as if saying a quick “Thanks” requires too much effort yet its the small sweet things that people say and do that can change the whole mood of your day.

So many dickheads that non-dickheads are mistaken for being D.T.F
To me courtesy isn't just your pleases and thankyous but it's all aspects of being aware of your surroundings and how your actions can affect people.

I've spoken about most of what annoys me about people in public before in a project I used to write with a pal of mine there's not much I more I can say that I haven't already said here:

http://meyouandourlives.tumblr.com/#/13677812999

I don't exactly go around trying to engage in conversation with every person I meet, mostly at the end of the day I want to listen to music and spend the ride home not talking to anybody...once my shift is over I am all:

“HELL YEAH. NOT BEING PAID TO BE NICE TO ANYBODY. IF SOMEBODY UPSETS ME NOW I CAN TELL THEM TO GO 'FUCK A GOAT' AND NOBODY CAN FIRE ME”

...though I never have told a stranger to 'fuck a goat'
...I like having that option there.

Though even in the shittiest of moods, I still find it in me to smile at people that smile at me
...however it seems that smiling is so rare these days that some people will just take it as a go-ahead to tune you, no matter how much you insist that you're busy
...you smiled so you must want to bang
... so I keep my eye contact brief with strangers that exhibit the creep vibe.

I think its a sad day when smiles are so few and far between that people start believing that a polite facial expression is only set-aside for people who's genitals you want to touch.