I think it is great in a sense because if you are crushing on somebody it might give you the added confidence to be all “Hey I like you” and if you’re already with somebody it gives you the chance to say “I‘m glad I found you” so that’s pretty neat.
Though I do have a bone to pick with Vday and maybe a tip or two for people who have their heart set on doing the whole cliché gift thing this year.
Myth: All girls love flowers
Flowers are a crap gift...unless they are orange. I think of flowers as being one of those 'I actually don't know you at all' type gifts and in the worst way ...because they die pretty fast.
Teddies are another lame one…but then again if you like somebody and they get you a shitty gift it can still be kind of special. Are you writing this down boys? Unless you are ABSOLUTELY sure that she already likes you then do not get her flowers because the only thing that will die faster than those roses is her already dim affection toward you…but all is not lost, I will give you some gift ideas later that are sure to woo her…even if you are not that amazing…which lets face it if you are taking advice from me, your options are probably pretty slim.
Make it personal:
The best valentines gift I've ever received (not that its a competition but yeah it kinda is) was a Family guy key-ring from this boy that I liked . He also gave me a toy bee that said something like 'bee mine'... This saved it from being another lame stuffed toy because I fucking love puns. Anyway I loved it because I felt like it was a gift that said 'hi. I actually know you. I know that you think Stewie Griffin is the best and I know that you will laugh at a bad pun'…. And that’s what I think gift giving should be like …rather than red roses which sort of say “It’s what the other dudes were doing and today about a billion other gals will get roses so yeah I didn‘t think too much about making this a really personal gift…but it did cost me $12.99...sooooo wanna bang anyway?” No. She does not.
Michaela’s gift ideas (Guaranteed to get you laid***)
Ok I know I said that teddy bears are lame but you know when something is so pathetic that it goes beyond the realms of being shit and becomes good again? Ok No? Mike Myers is really good at it… when a joke starts of funny then gets ridiculous…then gets so ridiculous that its funny….well I want you to think of Valentines day as being Austin Powers…and I don’t mean that I want you to start talking in a shitty British accent…I want you to think of the cheesiest thing ever…then do something even cheesier.
I am talking make a mix tape…with a card that includes why you chose each song…please try to include as many puns as possible….and then a shitty drawing on the front…don’t worry if you cant actually draw because it will probably make it better. For brownie points, include a song that you wrote yourself…again don’t worry if its bad, they will think its really sweet that you tried and you will definitely get pity-sex.
Alternatively Van Gogh seemed like a pretty romantic dude…Why not give a loved one a piece of you this Vday? I wouldn’t cut off an ear though if I was you …or limb that you particularly needed…like your arm…maybe just a toe or something so a piece of you will always be with them…don’t have any second thoughts or wonder “Is this creepy?” totally.not.creepy.
***Disclaimer: Michaela will not be held liable if you do not get laid using these tips…you should actually consider that attempting any of these this a reflection of your own insanity and seek help. I mean really? Why are you taking my advice? These are all terrible suggestions
this guy knows^^^^
