FORT MAKING MONDAY
My first Blog post is about ‘Fort making Monday’ an event that my sister and I came up with.
It came about when she realised that her Uni break was nearing and she was going to have some spare time and when we realised that we were both perpetually about 5 years old.
I seriously wanted to make a fort last week after she had planted the idea in my head but then she told me that she had ONE LAST ASSIGNMENT to do. I was fucking pissed. I wanted to hang out in a fort, drink hot chocolate and talk about boys while having a ‘No boys allowed’ sign on the front of a amazing fort. But nooooooooo she had work to do.
…So to try and lure her in, I started to come up with as many fort puns as I could “Hey Viv, it‘s unFORTunate that we cant make a fort tonight. Maybe next FORTnight”…anything with the prefix fort, I tried to make it work…I also tried to spin a pun out of a few other words where it didn’t really fit… “Have you seen the weather FORTcast? Its going to be rainy outside, better stay in and build a fort with your sister”…yeah I didn’t say that but it would have been cool.
I then laughed at myself and posted a facebook status about it and found out that I had a few likeminded pals who chimed in and I repeated things to her about how it wouldn’t take too much efFORT…(Thanks Dean)
I get pissed that she wont help me and would rather ‘work’ so I go to my brothers old room and attempt to make a fort on my own. I sit a mattress next to the wall and drape a blanket off the side of it and over to his bed. The mattress falls over. I am tired “I started it! Come have a look!” I yell.
She has a look and laughs.
Yeah fuck this, I am taking a nap.
Eventually we set the plans for ‘FORT MAKING MONDAY’, an afternoon dedicated specifically to making a fort.
I start getting messages from her on Sunday night enquiring about when I will be home the following day.
I am on my way home from work and receive another message “are you almost home? just wondering, there's no reason for it”.
When I get to the house, the front door is shut and I am carrying a bunch of stuff and trying to play with the dog at the same time. I ring the doorbell because I know she is around and I am not bothered to find my keys. She opens the door, she is standing there in her Long-Johns and yells “You‘ve ruined the element of surprise!”
Ah what?
"Alriight” she says “wait here for approximately 30 seconds before you come in”
Ok
I am reading a letter anyway and by this time, my excitement level for building a fort was much lower than it had been a few days ago.
I go to my room and she has left me a note “Can you guess what is missing? Let me enLIGHTen you”… Yeah…she stole my lamp.
Then this is what I find:
....So basically fort making Monday consisted of me making a lot of puns but not making a fort at all because she had built the entire palace. We then watched Secret life of us which had way more nipples and butterfly clips than we had first thought which made for a new game of “spot the Nip/clip”… and boy did we ever. THE END
